The incomparable Jennifer Pastiloff has a great piece on the Things That Shut Us Down.
For me, everything could be a potential snake if I let it.
There is a parable I once heard about a tiger. A saw a tiger in a cave, and was very afraid. It terrified him. As he came closer and closer, he began to see that the tiger wasn’t real, but was painted on the wall of the cave. But the more he stared at it, the more fearful he became, so much so that it might as well have been real. His mind and body reacted as if it were. They didn’t know. And all it takes to stop that fear, making the tigers something huge, real and tangible, is to simply erase them from the walls of our mind.
Right now I am literally shut down and I hate it. My knee aches. It’s telling me quietly “I am unhappy about something you’ve recently done”. I haven’t hurt it (yet), but have decided to give myself a few days off yoga.
It’s driving me insane.
Why is it so hard to say, “I hurt! Take care of me, comfort me, nurture me and let me heal”? Why is it so hard to listen to my knee?
I instead I am in “knee denial” trying to search for any reason…it’s the weather? my period? my emotions? surely I didn’t actually HURT my knee? …that I can totally go balls out and go to fanatic yoga tonight. [And the worst part is I cant go to yoga tonight because I have other plans!]
Truth is that it drives me crazy when something, someone else determines what I can and cannot do. I go nuts. Even though I know it’s the right thing to do. My mind starts racing, grasping, making excuses and creating tigers.
I’m not listening this time. I’m resting. Crazily. Back to the mat soon.